2. The Pluto Tradition
At this point you're probably confused by all that is going on, so I shall tell you more about one of the many rather weird traditions on the lonely planet of Pluto.
Pluto is a somewhat tiny planet, inhibited by millions of people, but more importantly, largely dominated by people of the Hoo family line. Like a monarchy, this "Royal Family" holds great power, and has been ruling the people rather well over many centuries.
This is where the weird tradition begins. The founder of Pluto many years had great pride in his name, and declared that all his sons must follow his name. In a rather unique and unimaginable kind of way. This was what he said:
"Generations must be properly named in order to show their seniority. All my sons must follow my name, each name varied only by removing the letter 'o' from it. When 'o's have run out, the next letter of the alphabet will be used, and 'o's will be added to it until there are 50 'o's, so on and so forth. And this shall be the law!" (That was the royal version - some other versions have insisted that he had added a big loud "Humph!" after, just as all the Royal Hoo Family like to do in an attempt to show their superiority. But that is of little importance, except it does make him look a bit more stupid.)
His self-given name was Hoo Ah-aooooooo..........ooooe (50 '0's in total); this in the Plutonian language basically means: "The very...(50 'very's)...very first one" - the "very"s added for emphasis.
This is what he meant in short (pun intended) : His first son, would be named "Hoo Ah-aooooooo....oooe" (49 'o's in total), and his next son would be "Hoo Ah-aooo...(48 'o')...ooe". Then, finally after many years, it would be "Hoo Ah-ae" - his next son would be named "Ah-be", next son "Ah-boe", then "Ah-booe"... and so on. Until there are 50 'o's. Then 'c' comes next.
If you think differentiating between the names is hard, that's not all. The founder-cum-president-cum-king Ah-aooo...(50 'o')....ooe believes in the beauty of names. He declared that for each 'o' in the name, they must be properly said - for each 'o', they had to be sounded for a full second. Also, names must be written in full - Ah-aooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooe,
never Ah-aooo...(50 'o')....ooe or anything like it. All who disobey are severely dealt with. So addressing the president is no mean feat... Just saying his name requires about a minute. Some weaker people have been unable to speak to him as they fainted before they could finish his name.
And oh yes. They refuse to be addressed by any other names, like Sir, King, President etc.
Therefore, when someone starts saying "Hoo ah-.." everyone starts counting quietly; especially the one speaking.. And they wouldn't know who the person is calling until he stops. If he miscounts, he would end up calling the wrong person.
That explains why people there have enormous big lungs, a good estimation of time and big long scrolls of paper.
A rather stupid law in my opinion though.
Pluto is a somewhat tiny planet, inhibited by millions of people, but more importantly, largely dominated by people of the Hoo family line. Like a monarchy, this "Royal Family" holds great power, and has been ruling the people rather well over many centuries.
This is where the weird tradition begins. The founder of Pluto many years had great pride in his name, and declared that all his sons must follow his name. In a rather unique and unimaginable kind of way. This was what he said:
"Generations must be properly named in order to show their seniority. All my sons must follow my name, each name varied only by removing the letter 'o' from it. When 'o's have run out, the next letter of the alphabet will be used, and 'o's will be added to it until there are 50 'o's, so on and so forth. And this shall be the law!" (That was the royal version - some other versions have insisted that he had added a big loud "Humph!" after, just as all the Royal Hoo Family like to do in an attempt to show their superiority. But that is of little importance, except it does make him look a bit more stupid.)
His self-given name was Hoo Ah-aooooooo..........ooooe (50 '0's in total); this in the Plutonian language basically means: "The very...(50 'very's)...very first one" - the "very"s added for emphasis.
This is what he meant in short (pun intended) : His first son, would be named "Hoo Ah-aooooooo....oooe" (49 'o's in total), and his next son would be "Hoo Ah-aooo...(48 'o')...ooe". Then, finally after many years, it would be "Hoo Ah-ae" - his next son would be named "Ah-be", next son "Ah-boe", then "Ah-booe"... and so on. Until there are 50 'o's. Then 'c' comes next.
If you think differentiating between the names is hard, that's not all. The founder-cum-president-cum-king Ah-aooo...(50 'o')....ooe believes in the beauty of names. He declared that for each 'o' in the name, they must be properly said - for each 'o', they had to be sounded for a full second. Also, names must be written in full - Ah-aooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooe,
never Ah-aooo...(50 'o')....ooe or anything like it. All who disobey are severely dealt with. So addressing the president is no mean feat... Just saying his name requires about a minute. Some weaker people have been unable to speak to him as they fainted before they could finish his name.
And oh yes. They refuse to be addressed by any other names, like Sir, King, President etc.
Therefore, when someone starts saying "Hoo ah-.." everyone starts counting quietly; especially the one speaking.. And they wouldn't know who the person is calling until he stops. If he miscounts, he would end up calling the wrong person.
That explains why people there have enormous big lungs, a good estimation of time and big long scrolls of paper.
A rather stupid law in my opinion though.
2. The Pluto Tradition, posted by Ah-mo
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